By Zine Mabunu
Growing up, although raised between Rock and a good place I have adopted a sense of rage, a rage conjured by societal standards of how as a Womxn I should and should not be, how as a womxn I should swallow things and let others be, where standing up for issues such as self dignity, respect, violence and rape I am told that I am “overreacting”, I am told that; “Argh, surely it’s not as bad as that” or “maybe you need to relax” or “just live, it’s life”.
But how do you live and let life when you grew up as a light skinned girl that was outcasted for not being “black enough”, for being labeled a “bitch” for not letting the boys shove their unmentionables inside of me, for waking up to find a boy sliding his hands in my pants whilst passed out after a night of fun, how do I let life and live knowing I should have done more than beat him with a broom?, knowing I should have not been mad and blaming myself for being at the wrong place, with the wrong crowd where whom I thought was a friend attempted to rape me?
How do I let life and live when I have held young girls in my arms that have been through the worst times and years later, that’s all they know .
How can I let life and live when the person next me would rather close their eyes to the truth than lend a hand and save a soul?
The depth of kindness goes a long way, womxn are brewed with so much emotion yet emotion is the same thing that clenches our throats, the same weapon that is used against us. When we smile they say “you wanted it” when we are angered they say “how can you be mad?, you wanted it.”
Yet all we want is a world that accommodates, cherishes and protects us by all means, we want streets and houses that are enough to call home.
However, the way the world is set up and because there are still a lot of issues to be addressed, there is a thin line between womxn and rage, a thin line because all the times I was raised to believe that I am Gold, there’s an outside world that has seemed to disapprove my good and Wealth, never mind as a human being but as a womxn, of colour, of strength, and of virtue and if that world cannot be put to an end, May the Fight in us not come to an End.